Taint Kicker

People who need a swift kick in the taint

Archive for the 'Crime' Category

Congressman Mike Rogers, idiot

This guy is a douchbag

Congressman Mike Rogers said in a radio station interview that Wikileaks whistle blower, PFC Bradley Manning should be considered for capital punishment.

First of all, the US military has already come out to say that the secrets aren’t really all that secret. It’s secret classification is the lowest classification.

Write Mike ( Fucktard ) Rogers and tell him off.

posted by admin in Crime and have Comment (1)

Perfectly positioned for a good taint kick

Cat buglar, and by cat I mean big fat pig

Cat burglar, and by cat I mean hog

Clive and Kelvin Webster tried to rob a department store in the UK. Unfortunately Clive who weighted 238lbs got stuck in a 2′ x 2′ hole they cut int he wall.

How did they plan this? Did Kevin draw the straw to be the getaway driver? Did they think this through? Next time the Brother Rotund should consider robbing a Jenny Craig.

Their own defense lawyer was described their act as “a wholly incompetent attempt at a burglary”

Luckily for us, Clive was positioned perfectly for a swift kick.

posted by admin in Crime and have No Comments

You’re gonna need to exorcise my foot out of your taint

World's Greatest Dad

Timothy Neal was arrested with his two sons for beating up another man while on a camping trip. The four were in a deep theological discussion on the topic of demons when they were apparently overtaken by spirits ( probably the 150 proof variety ) and stomped on their companion.

Here is a family that worship together.

posted by admin in Crime,Parenting and have No Comments

The Thin Blue Taint

Drunken Master, the Auto Style kills two instantly.

Police officer John Ardelean was video taped having 5 shots at while off duty, get into his car and ran down 2 people on Thanksgiving Day.

Yesterday he walked away a free man after the judge tossed the felony DUI charge. County Judge Thomas Gainer Jr. tossed the key evidence and left the families of the victims without any solid evidence to convict.

The real crime here is that these crooked cops protected their own. Ardelean was not given a breathalyzer test until 7 hours after the incident. The judge said that the video of the cop drinking 5 shots was not enough to show that he was drunk.

Chicago public servants, please line up to have your taints kicked. Up first, the judge who should receive 3 kicks for ignorance. Next, the officers at the scene who deserve 5 kicks for not doing their jobs, and finally Ardelean, 8 kicks.

This Thanksgiving I’ll be thankful that I don’t live in Chicago.

posted by admin in Crime and have No Comments

Kitteh Killa

This douche should pick on a cat his own size. Like a Liger.

21-year-old Bruce Jamar Walston was so angry that a kitten accidentally disconnected his video game, he picked up the cat and threw it against the wall, killing it.

This is not his first brush with the law. He was out on bond in January for a Breaking and Entering charge.

Bruce is in prisons right now where we hope he’ll be charging others with breaking and entering.

posted by Gina in Crime and have No Comments

Death by taint kicking

Keep smiling you bastard. Your day is coming.

Was there really ever any doubt that Joran van der Sloot murdered Natalie Holloway? He is on the run for murdering a Peruvian woman at a hotel. This kid doesn’t know to quit while ahead. Now that he doesn’t have daddy to protect him anymore I hope they string him upside down and beat him about the taint area with something blunt.

This entire case is all sorts of wrong. The fact that he was running around AFTER he admitted his involvement is an injustice. I hope they catch him soon.

Update: He’s been caught!

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Long Island’s Favorite Sick Bastard

Bob the Magical Pedofile

Hey Robert Infantino, watch me make my shoe disappear.

This Long Island magician who calls himself “Long Island’s Favorite Magician” pleaded guilty to 64 counts of child pornography and 44 counts of unlawful surveillance.

He’s got a website, bobinfantino.net which details his accomplishments. From his site:

Bob spent almost ten years teaching magic in after-school programs for little or no money. The schools would request his services year after year.

Bob spent approximately eight years performing in clubs, theaters, coffee houses and comedy clubs.

He has spent approximately six years performing in restaurants where he brought much joy and happiness to countless families and helped each restaurant bring in new customers and increase their revenue.

He has jerked off to video tapes of hundreds of children and secretly taped them at his performance.

OK, maybe that last one I added for him since he can’t get access to update his site while in prison.

You’d think his name would have given away his intention.

posted by admin in Crime and have No Comments

Your taint may contain my foot

Photo from jamesreno.com

You know those annoying pop-ups that tell you “You may have a virus, click here to buy my bogus virus removal software”? This is the face of the “DriveCleaner” and “ErrorSafe” products.

James Reno of Cincinnati and his two partners, Bjorn Daniel Sundin and Shaileshkumar P. Jain, are indicted for bilking $100 million with their snake-oil.

If convicted, he might have to pay $1 million in fines and serve 20 years.

Hmm… steal $100 million and pay $1 mil. That doesn’t sound right.

I’m not sure what his T-shirt says, but I think it’s “You have your whole life to spend in prison”

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posted by admin in Crime,Technology and have No Comments

You look so beautiful lying there unconscious like that

Hi I'm Dr. Garg. What seems to be the problem?

Dr. Manish Garg of Harlem Hospital decides to strike while the iron is hot, or in this case while the patient is unconscious.

A woman was brought to ER after being drugged with a date-rape cocktail. He took full advantage of the situation and when she awoke to find him fondling her, he wasted no time to ask her out.

Yeah, this guy is gonna LOVE prison. He’ll experience all sorts of unconscious groping.

posted by admin in Crime,Health and have No Comments