World's Greatest Dad

Timothy Neal was arrested with his two sons for beating up another man while on a camping trip. The four were in a deep theological discussion on the topic of demons when they were apparently overtaken by spirits ( probably the 150 proof variety ) and stomped on their companion.

Here is a family that worship together.

We want our children to grow up to be whiners

Ottowa children’s soccer league is training their kids to be pussies. According to league rules, if a team outscores the other by more than 5 goals, the leading team LOSES!

The kids in the league should line up and each take a turn kicking the league board in the taint for being completely unfit to work with children.

The league committee came up this rule during one late night meeting when all twelve members experienced simultaneous vaginal pain.

Two words: Retirement Home

Mom of the year, Valerie Tran, left her toddler inside her SUV while she spent 8 hours gambling in the casino. She went to the Oregon famous Chips Palace and Restaurant Casino in Lakewood where the buffet features an exciting selection of surf and turf.

Of course the question on all of our minds is this, “So? Did she win?” Well, we don’t know the answer to that question, but I can tell you this, the real winner is her son for winning the Best Mom Lottery.

According to the article she was too drunk to drive when the cops found her. They brought her to the station to sober up then released her with a misdemeanor ticket.

In her defense, the vehicle comes with OnStar so the kid was in good hands, ( the hands of Mirtha Tirupati at the OnStar Call Center in Hyderabad, India )